Do the ends justify the means?

Ok, I am piggybacking from Cami's blog and my comment from her blog (www.chattycami.blogspot.com) that lead to my discussing the current Bush spy scandal.

The Republican spin-doctors claim that if they had not "bent the rules" (aka breaking the law) that the Big Bad Arabs would have made another terrorist attack. I suppose that we will never know, but I do know that the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance court is there for that reason. They even make provisions for surveillance to begin before a court order is obtain just for flexibility. If this is the case, ignoring due process and the constitution are unforgivable.

What really gets me is that the administration claims to be spreading freedom and democracy in its invasion of Iraq and yet fails to follow the very principles they preach. They have corrupted the essence of the rules and laws we abide by as Americans in order to keep us safe from the same people who we forced our “democratic” values upon.

When the Oklahoma City bombing occurred, do you think they broke the law to do surveillance on midwestern white men? I doubt it. Their first look was at the people Middle Eastern decent in this country. The irony is that the first major terrorist attack came from our own citizens so angry at the government’s involvement in citizen’s lives that they became militant terrorists to make a point.

Don’t get me wrong; I abhor all terrorist activity, domestic or international. The issue is that the administration’s tactics have bastardized the very principles that this country stands on, giving fuel to all extremists, white or brown. If we are going out into the world touting democratic values and freedom, our president and this administration should be above reproach.

I am afraid to admit that our country is no longer a democracy but rather an oligarchy, a government ruled by a family or small group of people. George Bush and administration, etc. where is the country I love and what have you done to it?

I pray this Christmas that those who head our government have a change of heart, realize their hypocrisy, bring back our troops from Iraq and change the way they operate.

Attack of the Mama Meltdown

Ok, so I am going a little crazy lately and as we speak my husband is attempting to fix the consequence of going too long without a freaking break.

My husband has been working about six days a week, maybe more lately. The reason why is basically the Audit-From-Hell, but its too complicated for the scope of this blog. At the same time my youngest is finally getting his molars and acquiring a bunch of language and attitude. My three-year-old is basically just acting her age. I am on the verge of breakdown anyway and then you add Christmas and that pretty much pushes me over the edge.

Yesterday, Aaron had to work again and I was trying to recover from my family's annual Cookie Party. Just imagine My Big Fat Greek Wedding on the rag and you pretty much have my family. So, the kids are testing my patience and my dad comes over and just hangs out, I seriously need some time alone. I was cleaning the front room in order to make room for the tree and then the rest of the downstairs so that I have more than one room clean at one time. Aaron gets home and starts throwing shit all over the floor and the couch (again). I lost it! I started throwing things at the wall and ran upstairs to have some space and then realize that my room is even more cluttered than any room in the house.

I had to get outta there! So, me being nice mommy, I get the Christmas tree and other decorations out of the back of the minivan before I get the hell out of there and then proceed to back up with the back hatch still open. I totally slammed into the garage door and scratched (gouged more like it) the back hatch all to hell. The garage door seemed ok for a while and then when I just got back tonight from a preschool meeting, two of the wheels on the garage door fell off. I don't know if we can fix it and I don't need another stress of a big purchase on my back right now.

I need a vacation from my life but I can't afford it. Can I just be a grinch and skip Christmas this year?

Happily Ever After and other nonsense

I had some conversations this weekend with my sister, aged 16, about a friend of hers that is 20 and just got married to a 32 year old (can you say yuck!). She seemed to think this was quite romantic and tried to make me feel better by saying that she would not get married until she is at least 22 or 23.

It took pretty much all the strength I had to not start screaming at her, "What are you thinking!!?" She seems to have this vision of marriage as Happily Ever After, even after both of her parents have been married and divorced twice and still are somewhat clueless as to why their marriages failed in the first place. I can tell you why: 1) they were too young and had too little life experience the first time they got married 2) made really bad choices on their mates 3) are not introspective enough to know how they contributed to their marriages' demise.

As an aside, I feel like I am somewhat qualified to know this because I have seen my parents' marriage fail and my dad's second marriage fail. Which is why I made sure I knew my mate before we got married (six years together, now six years married), did extensive premarital preparation, and still have gone through ups and downs in our relationship. I knew when I got into this that it was going to be hard work (and it is!). But, I am afraid that my sister is setting herself up for the same mistakes her mother made (we have the same dad).

I may be preaching to the choir, but you CANNOT wait for someone to come and sweep you off of your feet and take care of you for the rest of your life. You have to work at your relationship,take time together and time apart. Then when kids come into the picture, it throws everything upside down and you have to figure out if you can even save yourself from drowning in the responsibility and then save your marriage. Anyone who had an easy transition when children arrived is lying.

I worry about my own daughter living in a world of serious mass marketing of Cinderella and other princesses. The stories all end with "happily ever after." Believing in that could ruin her life. The one in most iminent danger is my sister believing in that crap.

Not that I don't believe in marriage, I definitely do. It is just hard, committed work. And that is the key, is the committment even in the face of really hard times when you think its all coming down crashing around your ears. Its sticking with it and sticking with it and sticking with it before the glimmer of hope starts to show. And then when the hard work pays off, it can be great and fun bursts in the midst of quiet contentment. But, it all goes back to making the right choice of the right mate in the first place. If you don't have the time and maturity behind you, its luck to choose the right one.

I read somewhere once: "Be sure you choose the right mate, the result will be 90% of your misery or 90% of your happiness" (Love you, honey!)