Hello Disillusionment

I have to continue to remind myself, that I am not my body. My body is a shell, a vehicle I use to do my life's work, whatever that may be. My body does not define me, but I must take care of it in order to live. I haven't been doing that so well.

I have been struggling with quite a few things, shall I list them?
1. Body image, what I look like, how much I *should* weigh. What I *should* eat, for health and for pleasure.
2. What is the foundation of my faith, I need to dialogue with myself about that to get right with God.
3. What should I be as a mother, what do my children need and how do I balance that with my own needs.
4.What are my own needs? What do I need to do in order to be a happy person vs. a bitter, resentful person that I find myself slipping into.
5. How do I connect with my husband, how do we become better partners? How do we continue on the same path together, rather than growing apart?
6. How do I fulfill my family obligations (i.e help my dad with his finances, retirement, health insurance) so that it is not at the expense of my immediate family?
7. How do I balance all of the above with my need for outside friendship, relationship with my mom and sisters, in laws, and my household obligations (dishes, laundry, yard work) that seem to take up most of my time.

Not that I expect anyone to help me with this, it is just that I have been thinking quite a bit about all of these things because I haven't been the happiest of people. My resentment toward all the people in my life have been growing which is a clear indicator that my life is out of balance.

I project happiness, contentment out to the world, when in fact I am often flustered, frustrated and just angry at everyone. My greatest sadness is that I take it out on my kids and distance myself from my husband. I feel like I am drowning in my obligations, overwhelmed at that scope of what I have to do. My hope is that I can help myself (because no one else cares to try) by writing. Hello bitterness, goodbye sense of who I really am. I am being swallowed by this cancer of self-pity and spite.